Bad-Assed Santa
There will be a new sight on Christmas Eve,
Stay up and watch....It's hard to believe!
Santa gave up his sleigh full of loot,
Fired his reindeer and burned his red suit!
He got rid of the elves and called Master Charge,
Now he has an account, and boy, is it large!
He'll be buying all gifts for the rest of his years.
Your stuff will say "K-Mart", "J.C. Penny's", or "Sears"!
He'd gotten a little behind the whole Nation
With homemade toys and deer for transportation.
So forget feeding Rudolph, don't lay out the barley,
'Cause this year Santa rolls up on his Harley!
He's a biker now, and it's a whole new racket,
It says "Bad Ass Santa" on his black leather jacket!
Mrs. Claus is now his "Old Lady"!
They've got spikes on their helmets,
And they look kinda shady!
He's got a "chopper" with a "sissy bar",
And his "Old Lady" now has a "side car"!
He's really "hip" as he cruises around,
With his "boom box" blastin', Santa really gets down!
He's popping "wheelies", and stopping on dimes,
Glad that he's finally caught up with the times.
So sit by your window, it's something you'll like,
This modern day Santa on a shiny chrome bike!
And you'll hear him exclaim as he rides out of sight,
"MERRY CHRISTMA$, MAN!
THIS $HIT'S ALRIGHT!!!!"
